Nearly two-thirds of all Americans know someone who has been unfaithful to their spouse, according to a new CBS News poll. Overall, 63 percent say they know someone who has, while 31 percent say they do not. Demographically, Americans with higher incomes and education levels are more likely to know someone who has cheated on their spouse than Americans with lower incomes and less education. In addition, those who live in the West and South are more likely to know someone who has cheated than those from the Northeast and Midwest.

Americans who are divorced or separated are also more likely to know someone who has cheated on their spouse than Americans overall. In addition, the poll found that most married Americans are satisfied with their marriage, at least when they compare it to their parents’ marriage. Specifically, 55 percent think their marriage is better than that of their parents, while another 41 percent thinks it is the same. Just 3 percent think their marriage is worse than their parents.

Source: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2010/01/05/earlyshow/main6059795.shtml

If both spouses decide on a single divorce mediator, they can share the cost, which may be about $1,000 to $5,000 total. With separate lawyers, each will have to pay a retainer of $1,500 just to start the proceedings. With divorce mediation, it is you, the couple who decides on how quickly or slowly the divorce decisions are made and the terms of the divorce in the Marital Settlement Agreement. Everything here is done through an agreement unlike a divorce where the attorneys set dates and judges, which takes time.

When applying for a divorce, you may face difficulties understanding laws and the paperwork that is involved with it. However with divorce mediation, all the paperwork is done by your mediator. The trauma the children face in a divorce is less with divorce mediation as they know that the parents are working together, and will not involve them.

With a divorce mediation, your marriage ends on a happier tone, where you can face your future with a better attitude. There is no steadfast rule that you have to give up going to the court with divorce mediation. If you are not satisfied with the rulings of the mediator, you can always have an individual attorney and let the judge give the final judgment. Whatever was discussed in mediation will remain a secret, and the divorce proceedings start afresh.

You can avail of sufficient legal information from the divorce mediator on making fair and just decisions. Attorneys are not permitted to advise either party; only their client. However the mediator can discuss how the court may address issues relating to your case. The mediator also encourages you both to approach individual attorneys for legal advice before agreeing to the Marital Settlement Agreement.

With a divorce, there is always the possibility of anger getting out of control in the courtroom. However, with a divorce mediator, you can voice your emotions and with their help, come across a fair decision. There is no chance of your emotions controlling the decision making process. You can be sure that all information exchanged in divorce mediation is and remains confidential. You are both encouraged to see the positive sides in each other to reach an amicable agreement. This helps in retaining goodwill in matters needing future contact between the two like in parenting.

When choosing a divorce mediator, make sure that they are knowledgeable in family law and counseling, child development and meditation process. With a mediator, a team of mental health professionals and attorneys your divorce mediation runs better. Find out their experience as those with an experience of at least ten cases is the better choice. To find out the benefit of divorce mediation, listing out the pros and cons of your divorce proceedings will show you that the divorce mediation is indeed a better choice for you.

How Do I Tell The Kids About The Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide.

- The first thing to remember – the most important thing to remember is: Divorce takes time. It’s easy to classify divorce as a one-shot event; something which must be endured, then recovered from over time. While emotional and financial recovery from divorce may well take time, be prepared for divorce proceedings to take anything from a month to many years. Draw on support from family and friends and understand that it won’t be a pleasant process, but it will end.

- Work through your feelings. As counter-productive as it may seem, many divorces are expedited when both partners have taken the time to work through their feelings and discussed their plans before any legal action takes place. While this may be impossible in some circumstances, you’ll save money and heart ache if you can co-operate during the process.

- Ensure you have enough money to undertake a divorce. While most countries provide a minimum of support, protracted divorce proceedings, the shake-up of home life, and other aggravations can lead to unexpected financial losses. Set aside a buffer fund and talk with friends to ensure you’ll always have a roof over your head, even if it isn’t your own!

- Kids come first. Any couple with kids should keep their needs at the forefront during any divorce proceeding. Unless abuse is a factor, the kids should be given access to both parents during divorce proceedings, it’ll be easier on yourself and your children if traditional home life is maintained as much as is possible.

- Invest in a qualified, specialized Divorce Lawyer Attorney. Cheap representation may suffice if the divorce is completely amicable but, if you foresee complications in the form of an uncooperative spouse or complex financial arrangements; it is almost always worth the cost of a more experienced and specialized divorce attorney.

The key considerations for your personal wellbeing during divorce proceedings are to establish emotional and financial support, should you need it. The support of friends can be invaluable, but be aware that friends of both partners may feel uncomfortable discussing the relationship. There is generally little or no advantage to initiating divorce proceedings before your partner, so take the time to establish a financial surplus to see you through a potentially expensive separation.

• ISBN13: 9781582462417
• Condition: NEW
• Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.

Product Description
Zoe and Evan Stern know firsthand how it feels when your parents divorce. When their parents split they knew their lives would change but they didn’t know how. A few years later, when they were 15 and 13 years old, they decided to share their experience in this positive and practical guide for kids. With some help from their mom, Zoe and Evan write about topics like guilt, anger, fear, adjusting to different rules in different houses, dealing with special occasions … More >>

Divorce Is Not the End of the World: Zoe’s and Evan’s Coping Guide for Kids

• ISBN13: 9780843132212
• Condition: NEW
• Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.

Product Description
Addison is a regular kid whose parents are going through a divorce, but he knows that no matter what happens, his parents will always love him. The text in this beautifully illustrated picture book is inspiring, gentle, and uplifting, and teaches kids that having two homes to live in can be just as great as having two strong feet to stand on…. More >>

Standing on My Own Two Feet: A Child’s Affirmation of Love in the Midst of Divorce

I have been married for almost 48 years. Many times, though the years, I thought of divorcing my husband. I am so thankful I choose to stick to my marriage and to make things work.

Why am I thankful I stayed married to my husband and kept my family together?

1. My husband and I are happy today. I’m so glad we didn’t quite the times we were unhappy. We have had to learn to live with things we didn’t like about each other. We have had to learn to forgive and love, anyway. We have had to find ways to try to keep each other happy. We have even gone for counseling. The times I was hurting the most, I had to ask God to help me love him. One good thing we had was we could communicate with each other even though we didn’t always agree but we did learn to talk things over. Thankfully we were committed to our marriage.

Keeping a marriage together is not an easy task, with each mate being different and having different needs, but if you both really want your marriage to work you will find a way, if you are committed.

2. My family is still a complete unit. We are the same Mom and Dad to our kids. Because of this, our children are more stable than many of the kids of our friends and family members who chose to divorce.

Why do our kids seem more stable than many others whose families divorced?

a. They grew up in a two-parent home. The most important thing, for a child, is to have its own mother and father. They will never be as happy in another situation.

As parents, we are responsible to give our kids the best life possible. Divorce can cause negative experiences they will have to live with for the rest of their lives. If we are not good parents we need to become good parents.

Selfishness is the most common reason for divorce. When we only think of ourselves grave consequences follow. We must become selfless. We must develop the attributes of a loving, giving, considerate and selfless person if we want our marriages to work and our families to stay together.

If you are able to do this you will bless your own life. Your greatest personal happiness will come from your own happy family.

b. They did not have to go from parent to parent, according to how much time the court determined should be spent with each parent.

This is how many children today live. Shuffled from parent to parent. You need to find a way to get along with your mate. Sometimes you are the only one doing all the giving but often that’s just how it is because you are doing it for the future happiness of your kids and your family. Of course there are limits. Some behaviors should not be accepted but endurance is often what is necessary. Often you must wait on God to answer your prayers and teach you the things you both need to learn on how to create a happy family and how to love.

c. They did not have to live through the disagreements and arguments associated with divorcing. I am so thankful my kids didn’t have to experience this.

When we get married and have children we have the responsibility to do all we can to give our kids the happiest life possible. Through divorce I see kids taking on the pains of parents who hate each other and they use their kids as skate goats. Why should any child have to live through war as their parent’s battle it out? If you are doing this you need to fix it. If you live with a contentious person you do not have to respond in a contentious manner. It takes two to fight. You must look at yourself and determine how you are contributing to the war and stop your part in it. Ask God to show you how. Learn to keep your mouth shut or walk away. Learn to talk to God about your hurts and ask for His help. I had to learn this.

d. They didn’t have to adjust to new stepparents or new

stepsiblings. Learning to get along with their own brothers and sisters, in their own family was hard and learning to be obedient to us as parents was hard. My children did learn this.

I have seen so much pain in kids whose parents divorced and brought in new mates and stepchildren who didn’t care for the kids and were often bad people.

e. I believe my children were kept safer. They were under my roof, where I could protect them. If they had to share their life with their father and another wife I would never have know how they were being treated.

I have often seen the new partner resent the kids and treat them badly.

f. They did not have to live in a single parent household. I’m thankful my kids didn’t have to go through that experience and I didn’t have to go through it either.

I see mothers struggle to work full time and care for their families, by themselves. In reality there just isn’t enough time to do both as well as you can do if you have a mate.

g. I was able to be a stay-at-home mom. If my husband and I had parted I would have had to work. I’m thankful I could be there when they came home from school.

So many children come home to an empty house.

How is my personal life better because I stayed in my Marriage?

I’m proud of myself. I’m so thankful that with The Lords Help I did all I could to make my marriage work. I love being married. I have peace in my life that so many others don’t have. I’m thankful that I love my husband today. I’m thankful we have had time to get to know each other, to mellow and to learn about life so our love could grow.

As I look at others who divorced, I recognize that many left their marriages too soon, before they had time to make their relationship work.

I’m grateful to have a companion today. Many divorced people are alone. When you divorce and remarry you take on a whole set of new problems. You may think your life will be better but often you are jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Life ends up worse, not better. I know there are second marriages and families that do work out but often their second attempt does not solve all their problems. The saddest part of a divorce is that often those who divorce wish they could have their old life back, but it is too late.

I have had a more comfortable life than some of my friends who divorced. Thankfully we still have what we have accumulated together. I’m thankful we were able to provide a better life for our children.

Often finances are the greatest problem in divorced homes.

The divorce forces them to split everything they have and pay a lot of what they have to the Attorney’s.

Please consider the above facts before you choose to divorce.

I am thankful for the times that I stayed with my husband for the sake of the kids. I didn’t want to hurt them. I knew that their needs were more important than mine. It would have been easy for me to walk away but I put my kids first. I remember thinking, “I will leave my husband when the kids grew up,” but when that time came, I had learned to love him more and I didn’t want to leave.

I believe the reason my husband and I have stayed married is because we wanted to stay married. Thankfully we were willing to endure hard times and stay committed in spite of mistakes made by the each of us. We also were aware that we could not expect perfection from the other if we were not perfect ourselves. I especially found that serving my husband was the best way to make things work, even when he didn’t deserve my service. As the years have gone by, he has learned to appreciate me and thank me for my faithfulness, kindness and caring. I have also learned to accept and appreciate him and be aware of the good in him, which I was unable to see when we were younger. We are very happy today and I’m so thankful I didn’t give up before we got to this point. It can take years to get to this point but better late than never and you can give up so much if you quit too soon.

I’m so grateful that when we have family get togethers they have only one Mom and one Dad and I’m so thankful my husband doesn’t have another wife and I don’t have another husband. I can only imagine how messed up things could be.

You may be thinking that your life has been harder than mine and that you have more reasons to divorce than I did. This may be so but I have been through extremely hard times, too. I have endured and survived some of the same things that have caused others to divorce. Through those hard times I have learned and grown and my marriage has become stronger. Sometimes hard times are given to us for that reason so we can truly discover who we are and what we are made of. Also to help us to get to know who our mates really are.

I don’t think God ever planned for life to be easy. I think he intended us to experience trials to prove ourselves to Him and to help us reach our potential. Some of our greatest trials have been the ones we have gained the most growth from.

I encourage any of you who are thinking of divorce to consider the things that I have said. I know that God will help. Some times you are totally on your own in your marriage but He will make up for the things you don’t have in another way, as you wait for things to get better. In the end, if you are faithful, He will bless you.

I also believe that God will help any two people find happiness if they have Christ as the center of their marriage and if they choose to care for their mates and their children more than their own happiness.

I believe God wants families to stay together. Raising a family takes two, the father and the mother. If you both strive to please one another you will become “ONE” as The Lord Intended. I’m sure God intended FAMILIES TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER.

I am very thankful I stayed married and my family is still a complete unit.

I have been married for almost 48 years. Many times, though the years, I thought of divorcing my husband. I am so thankful I choose to stick to my marriage and to make things work.

Why am I thankful I stayed married to my husband and kept my family together?

1. My husband and I are happy today. I’m so glad we didn’t quite the times we were unhappy. We have had to learn to live with things we didn’t like about each other. We have had to learn to forgive and love, anyway. We have had to find ways to try to keep each other happy. We have even gone for counseling. The times I was hurting the most, I had to ask God to help me love him. One good thing we had was we could communicate with each other even though we didn’t always agree but we did learn to talk things over. Thankfully we were committed to our marriage.

Keeping a marriage together is not an easy task, with each mate being different and having different needs, but if you both really want your marriage to work you will find a way, if you are committed.

2. My family is still a complete unit. We are the same Mom and Dad to our kids. Because of this, our children are more stable than many of the kids of our friends and family members who chose to divorce.

Why do our kids seem more stable than many others whose families divorced?

a. They grew up in a two-parent home. The most important thing, for a child, is to have its own mother and father. They will never be as happy in another situation.

As parents, we are responsible to give our kids the best life possible. Divorce can cause negative experiences they will have to live with for the rest of their lives. If we are not good parents we need to become good parents.

Selfishness is the most common reason for divorce. When we only think of ourselves grave consequences follow. We must become selfless. We must develop the attributes of a loving, giving, considerate and selfless person if we want our marriages to work and our families to stay together.

If you are able to do this you will bless your own life. Your greatest personal happiness will come from your own happy family.

b. They did not have to go from parent to parent, according to how much time the court determined should be spent with each parent.

This is how many children today live. Shuffled from parent to parent. You need to find a way to get along with your mate. Sometimes you are the only one doing all the giving but often that’s just how it is because you are doing it for the future happiness of your kids and your family. Of course there are limits. Some behaviors should not be accepted but endurance is often what is necessary. Often you must wait on God to answer your prayers and teach you the things you both need to learn on how to create a happy family and how to love.

c. They did not have to live through the disagreements and arguments associated with divorcing. I am so thankful my kids didn’t have to experience this.

When we get married and have children we have the responsibility to do all we can to give our kids the happiest life possible. Through divorce I see kids taking on the pains of parents who hate each other and they use their kids as skate goats. Why should any child have to live through war as their parent’s battle it out? If you are doing this you need to fix it. If you live with a contentious person you do not have to respond in a contentious manner. It takes two to fight. You must look at yourself and determine how you are contributing to the war and stop your part in it. Ask God to show you how. Learn to keep your mouth shut or walk away. Learn to talk to God about your hurts and ask for His help. I had to learn this.

d. They didn’t have to adjust to new stepparents or new

stepsiblings. Learning to get along with their own brothers and sisters, in their own family was hard and learning to be obedient to us as parents was hard. My children did learn this.

I have seen so much pain in kids whose parents divorced and brought in new mates and stepchildren who didn’t care for the kids and were often bad people.

e. I believe my children were kept safer. They were under my roof, where I could protect them. If they had to share their life with their father and another wife I would never have know how they were being treated.

I have often seen the new partner resent the kids and treat them badly.

f. They did not have to live in a single parent household. I’m thankful my kids didn’t have to go through that experience and I didn’t have to go through it either.

I see mothers struggle to work full time and care for their families, by themselves. In reality there just isn’t enough time to do both as well as you can do if you have a mate.

g. I was able to be a stay-at-home mom. If my husband and I had parted I would have had to work. I’m thankful I could be there when they came home from school.

So many children come home to an empty house.

How is my personal life better because I stayed in my Marriage?

I’m proud of myself. I’m so thankful that with The Lords Help I did all I could to make my marriage work. I love being married. I have peace in my life that so many others don’t have. I’m thankful that I love my husband today. I’m thankful we have had time to get to know each other, to mellow and to learn about life so our love could grow.

As I look at others who divorced, I recognize that many left their marriages too soon, before they had time to make their relationship work.

I’m grateful to have a companion today. Many divorced people are alone. When you divorce and remarry you take on a whole set of new problems. You may think your life will be better but often you are jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Life ends up worse, not better. I know there are second marriages and families that do work out but often their second attempt does not solve all their problems. The saddest part of a divorce is that often those who divorce wish they could have their old life back, but it is too late.

I have had a more comfortable life than some of my friends who divorced. Thankfully we still have what we have accumulated together. I’m thankful we were able to provide a better life for our children.

Often finances are the greatest problem in divorced homes.

The divorce forces them to split everything they have and pay a lot of what they have to the Attorney’s.

Please consider the above facts before you choose to divorce.

I am thankful for the times that I stayed with my husband for the sake of the kids. I didn’t want to hurt them. I knew that their needs were more important than mine. It would have been easy for me to walk away but I put my kids first. I remember thinking, “I will leave my husband when the kids grew up,” but when that time came, I had learned to love him more and I didn’t want to leave.

I believe the reason my husband and I have stayed married is because we wanted to stay married. Thankfully we were willing to endure hard times and stay committed in spite of mistakes made by the each of us. We also were aware that we could not expect perfection from the other if we were not perfect ourselves. I especially found that serving my husband was the best way to make things work, even when he didn’t deserve my service. As the years have gone by, he has learned to appreciate me and thank me for my faithfulness, kindness and caring. I have also learned to accept and appreciate him and be aware of the good in him, which I was unable to see when we were younger. We are very happy today and I’m so thankful I didn’t give up before we got to this point. It can take years to get to this point but better late than never and you can give up so much if you quit too soon.

I’m so grateful that when we have family get togethers they have only one Mom and one Dad and I’m so thankful my husband doesn’t have another wife and I don’t have another husband. I can only imagine how messed up things could be.

You may be thinking that your life has been harder than mine and that you have more reasons to divorce than I did. This may be so but I have been through extremely hard times, too. I have endured and survived some of the same things that have caused others to divorce. Through those hard times I have learned and grown and my marriage has become stronger. Sometimes hard times are given to us for that reason so we can truly discover who we are and what we are made of. Also to help us to get to know who our mates really are.

I don’t think God ever planned for life to be easy. I think he intended us to experience trials to prove ourselves to Him and to help us reach our potential. Some of our greatest trials have been the ones we have gained the most growth from.

I encourage any of you who are thinking of divorce to consider the things that I have said. I know that God will help. Some times you are totally on your own in your marriage but He will make up for the things you don’t have in another way, as you wait for things to get better. In the end, if you are faithful, He will bless you.

I also believe that God will help any two people find happiness if they have Christ as the center of their marriage and if they choose to care for their mates and their children more than their own happiness.

I believe God wants families to stay together. Raising a family takes two, the father and the mother. If you both strive to please one another you will become “ONE” as The Lord Intended. I’m sure God intended FAMILIES TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER.

I am very thankful I stayed married and my family is still a complete unit.

• ISBN13: 9780452287167
• Condition: NEW
• Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.

Product Description
Nationally recognized expert Robert Emery applies his twenty-five years of experience as a researcher, therapist, and mediator to offer parents a new road map to divorce. Dr. Emery shows how our powerful emotions and the way we handle them shape how we divorce—and whether our children suffer or thrive in the long run. His message is hopeful, yet realistic—divorce is invariably painful, but parents can help promote their children’s resilience. With compassion a… More >>

The Truth About Children and Divorce: Dealing with the Emotions So You and Your Children Can Thrive

• ISBN13: 9781575420929
• Condition: NEW
• Notes: Brand New from Publisher. No Remainder Mark.

Product Description
This companion to the Juggling Act parent’s book is specially aimed at kids ages 7-12. It explains divorce, new living arrangements, and other basics to help children understand what’s happening in their lives. With honesty and simplicity, the authors help kids realize that divorce isn’t their fault, strong emotions are okay, and families can survive difficult changes. Written to and for kids, this book is also recommended for parents, educators, counselors, and… More >>

What in the World Do You Do When Your Parents Divorce? A Survival Guide for Kids

Smart Money

Divorces cause tax issues. One that most ex-spouses with children ask about is which parent is allowed to claim a host of valuable child-related tax breaks. As is often the case with our tax code, the answer isn’t so simple. Sometimes, but not always, it depends on which parent is allowed to claim the child as a dependent. Here’s what you need to know.

For tax purposes, a child is usually treated as “belonging” to the parent who has custody for the greater part of the year. That parent is called the custodial parent. The other parent is called the noncustodial parent. The general rule says the custodial parent can claim the dependent exemption deduction for the child. However an exception to the general rule allows the custodial parent to release to the noncustodial parent the right to claim the designated child as a dependent. (While a release isn’t helpful to the custodial parent, it’s often a necessary part of reaching a settlement.) I call this exception to the general rule the noncustodial parent rule. As you’ll see, it’s an important provision for all you noncustodial parents out there.

Source: http://www.smartmoney.com/Personal-Finance/Taxes/After-Divorce-Who-Gets-Child-Related-Tax-Breaks/?hpadref=1