Darla Atlas

The Dallas Morning News

I used to have the standard cellphone ringtone. You know the one: the little melody that keeps going up in octaves, like it’s happily climbing stairs. But in mid-September, when my marriage was suddenly over, I put my phone on vibrate. At that moment I was in a public place and didn’t want to hear it going off every few minutes.

But now, I can’t even imagine going back to the happy stair climber. When I hear someone else’s phone ring with that tune, it’s jarring. It almost hurts. Because it’s a reminder of Before, when what I’m living now is After. That’s not the only change I’ve made. I had to go buy a few new shirts and pants, because when I looked at my old stuff – the clothes I wore when I thought nothing was wrong – they filled me with dread. I’ve changed my shoes, the curtains in the bedroom, the curtains in the living room. I now wear my hair straight every day instead of naturally curly. These are all superficial changes, but somehow they’re helping me cope with the very deep change.

Source: http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/fea/columnists/datlas/stories/DN-life–darla_06brf.ART.State.Edition1.4b818d4.html